The rhythms of new life

Don’t forget the burp

As promised, now for something completely different: life as a new Dad.

I sit, holding baby Liana in my arms

Head resting against my chest

She breathes, pants, eyes flickering between asleep and awake

A turn, a shriek, a burp stuck

Half an hour of toing and froing, the process starts again

And again, a shriek, she clenches her little body trying to push out the
wind

Two hours of this and it’s time to give to Mum

A hard night, for all three

A burp missed

24 hours later I hold my little girl in the same place

I’ve given her less milk tonight

We’ve taken extra time to drink it slowly

She rests and I type with my thumbs

Phone light glowing in the dark room

Lighting up my face, the back of her head

21st century baby and dad

She makes the odd grunt, stirring from the comfort of dad’s chest

Comfort for baby. Comfort for dad.

It can be exhausting. Non stop.

Cleaning, tidying, working.

No beers with the lads. No dinner or movie with the wife

Dinner time ruined, again

Add in the tears and yells

Not much fun, a lot of the time. Not gunna lie.

Stress management takes a new dimension.

But those little moments

Are worth all the cries

A cliche, yes

Worth all the screams, tears and no beers

I write this note over three nights

Through the full range of emotions

Baby in your arms, face tilted on chest, cheeks puffed out, mouth wide open

The difficult moments will pass

The beautiful moments stay

Time, we don’t get back

The excitable little face spinning from side to side, baby wide awake, eyes
zipping around

What is she thinking about?

Things aren’t as new and exciting for me as they were when I was in my 20s

Or in my teens. Or a child.

Imagine what baby is thinking, not even two months old

A trip to the nappy station a big deal

The zippiest, most interesting expressions often during a nappy change

After that playpen. Six minutes of alone time – we’re doing just fine
thank you.

The cuteness

There are different kinds of tears. Those that just flow, for no reason.

Or for the reason that she doesn’t know how to talk

Or that she doesn’t even know what she thinks yet. So little. So helpless.

A journey. The learning. More alert day by day.

Occasionally cries accompanied by real tears, enough to melt a heart

A little thing so helpless in distress. And there ain’t much you can do.

The flat was clean earlier today

Now a pile of dirty dishes beckons

Clothes all over the place

Liana’s stuff all over the floor

One day. Such a mess. No space and a newfound admiration for single parents.

Need to make time to rest

Better make the most of it while you can

Before you know it you’ll be on the next bit of tidying, catch up with sleep,
back to work

Another day and she’s settled on my chest as I type this script, again

Total peace

Her warm head tucked under my beard

My warmth comforting her. Her warmth comforting me.

little breaths cutting through the silent night time air

The breath of life. So calm. So natural. Purity.

Simplicity at it’s beautiful best. This moment.

So small and fragile yet full of life

Duties beckon. Let’s get this little lady to bed

Success for now, that’s all we can do

Enjoy every moment, even when you can’t

 

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8 thoughts on “The rhythms of new life

  1. Wonderfully put with words that capture the state of a father and his new baby.
    Every sentence is poignant and real. No exaggeration but the truth.
    Enjoy the best and worst because it is worth it just for that little smile, giggle and laugh….

  2. Hi Brian having been there a long time ago with my daughter I think you have expressed your feelings beautifully, and btw she is beautiful also.
    I am going through the second phase as a grandfather of a little boy and girl 4 & 2 respectfully and that is equally wonderful.
    The good news is that after about a year or so it gets easier
    but no less fun.

    Dave

    • Thanks for the kind words Dave. And congrats on becoming a grandfather! Lots of people have been telling us it will get better. Certainly she is awake for longer and more alert and you can see how much she has learnt which is great. Although I have to say the sleeping has become a bit worse of the last week or so haha She isn’t sleeping as well through the night as before. We have also been told that they have ups and downs and little growth spurts which can change the routine so hopefully the disruption in recent days is just that.

  3. Brian, muito legal ouvir noticias de voces. Aproveite os momentos. O tempo passa rapido.
    Grande abraco,
    Piu

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